Falling Ahead with the Times

The 2000's are calling and they want their phone back

The other day Auntie and Uncle Jim were on a double date with friends Geoff and Christine and Auntie became the laughing stock of the dinner table. 

While we were waiting for our salads to arrive, the subject turned towards cell phones and everyone pulled out his phone to compare Apps and show off some photos.

I miss my Walkman so...

Well, there was Auntie with her ancient little Samsung phone, the one that she'd bought about 10 years ago with the little silver bear charm hanging on the end, right next to the antenna.

"That's your phone?" Geoff asked accusingly mixed with peals of laughter.

Well, I never!  You'd think I'd been carrying around two tin cans and a string in my purse.  Well, I guess compared to their shiny new iPhones, I was.

Ah well, Auntie took all the laughter in the spirit that it was intended:  ridicule.

Good old

How had I fallen so far behind the times?

The funny thing is that in all other ways, Auntie is quite the modern miss.  I have three blogs, a facebook page and two twitter feeds. I even saw PSY's Gangnam Style video on YouTube when it had under 100,000 views. Now it's nearing 1.3 billion.  Where did I go wrong?

Bad old

With laughter still ringing in my ears, Uncle Jim kindly offered to buy me an iPhone 5 and Auntie readily agreed.  This zip-lined Auntie into the modern age and now I can't put my phone down.

The truth is that these days it's hard to keep up with all the new ways of doing things.

Do you remember record players?  Auntie does.

After listening to one side of the record, which took about 15 minutes or so, you had to get up and flip the record over to play the other side.  Television offered the same chance for vigorous exercise. If you wanted to change channels, you had to push the cat off your lap, get up out of your easy chair, walk across the room and flip a knob.

While watching TV and listening to records were both good ways to get exercise, now we sit like statues and manage our video content and MP3 files in our Clouds so there's no need to flip anything except your lid when your WiFi goes on the fritz or your download speeds are too pokey.

Back in the good old days when iPods had click wheels

I often think about all the things in life that are both old and good:  fine wine, architecture, grandparents, and unwatched episodes of your favourite old-time TV shows.

And how about everything that's both new and good in life like kittens,

"A ground breaking advancement in the field of obsolescence"

apples, friends, and new episodes of your favourite modern TV shows?

Sometimes, it's fun to find a happy mix of both like this nifty USB typewriter that Uncle Jim found on the internet.  If you have an old Underwood typewriter lying around, you can convert it into a keyboard for your iPad.  Imagine being able to hear the "clickity clak" of the typewriter keys and all those "likes" you'll generate when you update your facebook status to  "just got a new typewriter!"  Just make sure your don't slap your iPad off its stand when you should hit the "enter" key instead.

Uncle Jim is in many ways a thoroughly modern man and owns an iPad but strangely, he's never owned an iPhone.  After a bit of delicate questioning, I learned he has a little disability that plagues many people of his generation:  his fingertips aren't pointy enough to use the keypad.  Poor Uncle Jim!

All is not lost though. You'll be pleased to know that while we were in Hong Kong, we bought some nifty finger cones that are all the rage there.  Wearing these cones on your fingers over night will reshape your round fingertips in no time and they're guaranteed to make them pointy enough for an iPhone keyboard.  Fortunately, the cost of the cones is covered by his health insurance. 

Good old. The house phone from the Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh

Of course this doesn't mean that we can't hold on to things from the past that bring us happiness and joy like old friends, antique tea cups and vintage Pucci dresses.

We should just be open to new things and new adventures that will enrich and improve our lives.

As one of my favourite animated characters, Edna Mode would say, "I never look back, darling! It distracts from the now."

I couldn't say it better myself! 

Stop fighting girls!  There are plenty of those to go around

Yes, "Like That."  All is well in the modern age - for now...

A Curious Year

Is it 2014 yet?

Well the end of the year sure did creep up on Auntie.  Did it creep up on you?

Seems like one minute 2012 was rolling merrily along and the next, I was pulling streamers from the chandeliers, tossing champagne bottles into the recycle bin and tacking up my new 2013 "page a day" cat calendar.

Well, I know it's customary at this time of year to take a look back and reminisce about past posts but Auntie has a little secret to tell you... I saw a lot of strange things last year that I've been too busy to tell you about.

So in the spirit of the original Auntie Times, I've put together a few little stories to amuse you and brighten your day.

By the way, my new year's resolution for 2013 is to share more little stories with you throughout the year.  I'm sure this will last longer than my new year's diet.

Uncle Jim and I wish you a healthy and prosperous 2013 and that it looks something like this:

So put on your spectacles and let's take a look at the curious year that was 2012.

Strange Pod Takes Over the Dining Room 

When Auntie and Uncle Jim were out walking in the mountains one day, we spotted a pretty vine that had twisted its way through an old rusty fence. 

There were some interesting fat green pods hanging all over that vine so we snapped one off, tucked it in my knapsack and headed home thinking that I'd look it up on the internet to see what it was and if I could cook with it.  Food foraging is a favourite little pastime for Auntie.

Well, things didn't go quite as I'd planned.

Auntie got busy with other things that day and I forgot all about that little pod until a few days later.  By then, the pod had split to reveal pretty rows of brown seeds.  It reminded me of a milkweed pod but this was much bigger.

After Uncle Jim marvelled at it and Auntie took a few pictures, I left it on a tray in the dining room and I got busy and forgot all about it again.

Two days later, Celine came running into my office.  She said I should come quickly - there was something strange in the dining room.  

Well what a surprise!  Those brown seeds had started to creep out of the pod all on their own and each of them had a big fluffy parachute attached. 

At the rate it was puffing, we calculated that the dining room would be full of fluff by the end of the week. 

There was only one thing we could do.  Celine pulled out the vacuum and she sucked away all those seeds and fluff.  Phew.  That was close!

Come to think of it, I'd better ask Celine to go check the vacuum bag.  There's no telling what they've gotten up to in the dark.

That's the last time Auntie brings one of those home!

Meet "Happy" the Nut Cracking Dog

Do you remember Gilbert, the man who sells eggs in the market in Monaco?  Well Gilbert has a new puppy named "Happy" and he's one talented dog!

Every fall, Gilbert brings walnuts to the market to sell and it seems that his new puppy Happy likes the walnuts just as much as Auntie does.

If you give Happy a walnut, he takes it in his mouth, cracks it with his powerful jaws, spits it all out, picks out the nut to eat and leaves the shell behind.  

Hmm.  Maybe Happy can help Auntie crack all those nuts I bought from Gilbert. 

Cat Tails

Well, someone made a mistake at the cat factory when this little fella rolled down the assembly line.  

On Dasher, on Cancer...

If you drive, or walk, from France into Italy these days, the first building you'll find across the border besides the dilapidated 70's style check point building is a little gas station, café and Italian food shop all rolled into one.

Everyone who works there is always cranky and brusque with customers and lately they've been wearing brand new t-shirts with "Go Away" printed in big letters across the front.  Maybe they were a Christmas present from the owner.

But despite the bad service and crabby staff, there are always long line ups at the cigarette counter with hoards of French people buying cheap Italian ciggies for a fraction of what they cost in France.

Well, for the festive season, they put a Christmas tree out front and decorated it with empty soda cans and cigarette packages.

Well, it certainly captured the spirit of the place!

A Well Dressed Cat

 

If you're looking for a date Miss Kitty, Auntie knows a cat with a white coat and a nice tail....



The Happy Dancing Fund Raising Guy

On a recent trip to London, this fine fellow was in front of the big Selfridges department store asking passers by to give money to his charity.

He donned a colourful wig and did a little happy dance hoping for big donations.  Well, it worked.  Auntie emptied her wallet into his red bucket.

A Menacing Bunny

Auntie Loses her Head

Sit!  Beg!

Brother can you spare a bone?


Who Killed Auntie's Donkey?

The investigation continues in an effort to apprehend the culprit who killed Auntie's vintage yellow donkey this summer.

Prime suspects are Uncle Jim and a few of the neighbourhood cats.

A reward has been offered.

Merry Christmas

Ah, sweet memories...  

Remember what it was like to sneak downstairs before dawn on Christmas day, seeing that Santa had enjoyed his cookies and milk and then finding piles of gifts under the tree?  Thank goodness some of them had your name on the tag.  Phew!

Uncle Jim and Auntie wish all our nieces, nephews, readers of the Auntie Times and all cats, tabby and otherwise, a joy filled holiday and that everything you wish for comes true.

xo,

Auntie and Uncle Jim

Red, White and Fun all Over!

Today is November 19th and a very important day for les Monégasques, the citizens of Monaco. 

It's Monaco's National Day and everywhere you look, red and white flags are fluttering from balconies and windows, children are eating big cookies covered in red and white sprinkles and the Prince and Princess along with the entire royal family make a brief appearance at the palace windows for their annual wave at their loyal subjects.

While all of that traditional hubbub is fun for the first eight or nine times, the real action is just a stone's throw away in Port Hercule, the exact same place where multi million dollar race cars zoom around competing in Monaco's annual Grand Prix in May.  

So, what could be more exciting than all the commotion at the palace?  Monaco's Annual Fun Fair of course!  Monaco's National Day always marks the last day of the three week Fun Fair  and since it was the last day, Auntie and Uncle Jim high tailed it to the Port to try our hands at winning a stuffed animal or two and enjoy an afternoon snack.  Even though Uncle Jim was happy to go to the Fair with Auntie, I think Uncle Jim would take the Grand Prix over a ride on the bumper cars any day!

 

The Fun Fair is a bit like a North American County Fair, filled with wild rides, games, junk food and lots of people but without the traditional agricultural component, baking competitions and smelly barns.

Sharpshooting Auntie won a nice Princess mug

Auntie loves to play the games. 

Remember the Derby Race where Auntie won a gnome for all of her friends last year ?  Well Auntie lost at the Derby Game this year so there are no nice new gnomes for anyone this year.   

But all was not lost.  Due to dedicated target practice at the shooting range, this year Auntie shot out the centre of 3 targets with a 22-calibre rifle and won a pretty Princess mug.  Easy peasy!

Playing all those games can work up your appetite.  If you have a sweet tooth, you'll find clouds of Cotton candy bigger than your head in 10 different flavours, feather light doughnuts, crêpes with Nutella or Grand Marnier sprinkled on top, crunchy churros, and then wash it all down with some wine or beer.  On Thursday my friend Diana bought 6 candy apples and they were all gone by Saturday! 

I'll confess that Uncle Jim and I love sharing a big plate of delicious Socca and for dessert,  some sugar coated yeast doughnuts that are as light as air and made while you watch. 

 

The rules of Hop Hop

While Auntie is good at the shooting games, Uncle Jim's an expert at the "Hop Hop" game.  Many years ago, we met the guy who owns the Hop Hop game and he told us that his grandparents started the Hop Hop game and now he and his wife, and their deaf and blind dog continue the tradition and travel all over France bringing the Hop Hop game to Fun Fairs all around France.  

To play the Hop Hop game, you pay €5 and the nice Hop Hop guy hands you about 15 plastic rings, each ring is about the diameter of a cantaloupe.  You stand at the edge of the Hop Hop booth and throw the rings at different do-dads that are each perched on top of little stands.  There are about 100 different things to chose from, from an iPod to a long sausage!

It may sound easy but to win, the ring needs to go all the way around the stand, not just rest on the top of do-dad.

Of all the things there were to win, Auntie liked a cute little light up dog and Uncle Jim went to work trying to win it for Auntie.

Uncle Jim threw one ring after another.  "Paff," "ping," "zoop" went the rings, bouncing here and there.  Auntie was starting to worry that she'd never have that little dog.

Sweat popped up in little drops on Uncle Jim's  brow.  He'd already  thrown almost all of his rings and hadn't won yet.  Uncle Jim had good aim.  but the darned rings kept landing on the dog and got stuck there and didn't fall to the bottom of the stand.  

Auntie's nerves were frayed.  When Uncle Jim only had one ring left, he paused and took a deep breath.  Auntie kissed him for good luck.  Maybe she shouldn't have.  A nice kiss could be distracting for Uncle Jim. The Hop Hop guy stopped what he was doing to watch too. Uncle Jim furrowed his brow and squinted.  You could tell that he was concentrating with all his might.  Uncle Jim lifted his arm, threw his last ring and ... Yeah!  It landed on the dog and dropped all the way to the bottom! Uncle Jim won the light up dog for Auntie with his last ring!  

I've become quite fond of the little dog.  It changes colours every few seconds and it has become one of Auntie's favourite things and a nice memory of this year's Fun Fair.  In fact, Auntie has kept it lit so much that the dog is almost all worn out and the colours are starting to look a bit pale. Time to change the battery.

Last year we won gnomes at the Fair.  This year it's a charming light up dog.  Who knows what we'll win next year?  Maybe a giant stuffed tiger or a goldfish in a bowl.

I'd better ask Uncle Jim to start training now.

Eenie meenie miney moe!

Chestnuts roasted on an open fire

 

Yeah!  The next fair is in Menton!

 

Playing with a Full Deck of Cats

Well, would wonders never cease!  Cat has turned up again, this time he's back in France, of all places, smack dab in the same country where his story began.

Isn't it funny how things happen sometimes?  Not an hour or so before rediscovering Cat, I was telling new blogger buddy and writer extraordinare Heather of Arles the riveting story of Cat over lunch.

Do you remember Cat?  Of course you do!  Cat was the furry feline drifter who arrived one day at our house in Menton, cost us hundreds of euro for surgery to remove a dangerous tumour, ate like a pig, became quite fat, and then ran off when we put him on a diet.

Playing cards for every occasion

It all started last Saturday when Uncle Jim and I were visiting Montpellier, a charming city in the south-west of France.

After lunch, we wandered into an astounding toy shop.  While poking around, I was drawn to a glass display case filled with a beguiling assortment of playing cards and Auntie's keen eyesight fell upon a deck of 3-D cat cards.  Of course, Uncle Jim was more than happy to buy Auntie a little gift.

We perched in a little café nearby, ordered tea and cake, and as soon as the waitress scurried off, Auntie tore open the package.

There they were, 52 fabulous cards, each with a different cat printed on them.  The cards were even better than I was hoping.  Along with the 52 cat cards, there were two joker cards but these two jokers were dogs. Ha!

Uncle Jim eyed the cards suspiciously and pointed out that more accurately, they were lenticular cards, not  3-D cards as was claimed on the package.

Lenticular, funicular, perpendicular,  it didn't matter to Auntie.  She was just happy to have those funny cat cards to play with.

Auntie shuffled the deck, dealt out 11 cards to Uncle Jim, 11 cards to herself and thus began our first game of "Cat Gin."

Well, towards the end of a that first cat-filled game, Auntie considered her options.  She needed one more card to win, the 5 of diamonds.  Uncle Jim grinned at Auntie. The air was tense.  I think he only needed one card to win too.  Auntie put out her paw and lifted a card off the top of the pile hoping this would be the right card.  What a surprise!  Not only was it the 5 of diamonds, the card I needed to win the game, but there was Cat, a little chubbier than he was the last time I saw him, staring back at Auntie in all his lenticular glory.  With that I shouted, "Cat Gin" and lay down my cards.

Thanks to Cat, Auntie had won the game.

"Cat Gin!" Auntie wins thanks to Cat!

While Uncle Jim shuffled the deck for our next game, Auntie had time to reflect on the last time she saw good old Cat.  It was in Tokyo a few years ago.  Cat was playing the lead cat in Robert Heinlein's play, The Door into Summer at a theatre in Ginza.  Auntie has a little theory as to how Cat wound up on these playing cards...

Ha ha.  The Jokers are dogs!

Since the cards were made in Taiwan, perhaps the Taiwanese business man who made the 3-D cards was in Tokyo on a business trip.  One evening, he took a break from business and decided to see a play.  Since he was designing cat cards and was, generally speaking, fond of cats, he bought a ticket to see The Door into Summer.

Mid way thorough the play, Cat entered, stage left.  The Taiwanese business man who was starting to doze off after a big dinner of sushi, stood up, pointed at Cat and shouted, "get me that cat!," "he'd make a great 5 of diamonds!"  The play stopped, a deal was struck, and the rest is history.

Who knows where cat may pop up next?  Being immortalized on a deck of playing cards will be a tough act to follow.