Maya Visits Paris

Vingt dieux, la belle église!  When was the last time you received a thank you note from a visiting 12 year old niece?  Seems that her Finishing School tuition wasn't wasted.

Maya's thank you note is also today's guest post entitled, The Sacre Coeur Economy. It's an enlightened perspective of her first trip to Paris where she and her Mom zipped to by high speed train after visiting Uncle Jim and I in the south of France. 

Thank you sweetheart.  You can guest post for Auntie any time.

The Sacre Coeur Economy

Dear Auntie:

                                                                                

     I thank you enormously for your invitation to guest post, although I had some trouble deciding what to write about, I have come to a conclusion of writing about the Sacre Coeur, an enormous church and the area surrounding, because you were not there for it, and because it was my favourite place to drink cappuccinos at cafés and laugh at other stupid tourists. 

     Anyway, the Sacre Coeur was about ten blocks away from our hotel, and the area surrounding it is like what silly tourists get into their silly heads about Paris.  In truth, Paris is just like New York, only much better architecture, and everyone speaks French. 

The hotel was unusually coloured

So, on day two, we walk up the tiny, twisting pathways filled to the brim with busy, bustling people, and then suddenly half of the population spoke English.  We had reached what I like to call the Sacre Coeur Economy. 

     The streets were packed with mildly crazy tourists, and we found ourselves amidst a crowd, being helplessly shoved up the hill.  We pass two mimes and a lady with a cart covered from top to bottom in flowers, playing an accordion.

 

     Then, my Mom shouts, and I follow her finger to one of the most magnificent towers ever.  At this point, we were only a block away and were already gaping with mouths as wide as fishes.

 

The view of –and from- the magnificent Sacre Coeur

     So of course Mom wanted to go to the top.  Three hundred spiralling steps up, and three hundred spiralling steps down.   The view was stunning, and even through the pollution and clouds, I could make out the faint outline of the Eiffel Tower.

Another amazing thing about the Sacre Coeur Economy:  the shops

     I would also like to thank you for not only allowing me to write this, but for giving me no other option but to have a marvellous time – Uncle Jim, you too.

        

     I look forward to next time,

Love and hugs,

Maya.

Two Nieces Visit Auntie

The Niece-ling visits the Auntie.  Let the spoiling begin!

It was a rare, "three generations under the same roof" week for Auntie and Uncle Jim, four if you count the fruit flies who arrived on some bananas a few days prior.

Our fabulous niece Tina and her equally fabulous daughter Maya jetted half way around the world to visit us at our seaside shack in the south of France.  Uncle Jim can count all of his relatives, both distant and close, on his fingers and toes so how lucky were we to have a thumb and pinkie to spoil at the same time? 

The last time niece Tina and niece-ling Maya visited was in 2002 when Maya was just a wee kitten.  Celine pointed to the kitchen doorway where almost 11 years ago to the day, Maya stood still just long enough for Auntie to mark her height on the door jamb.  I had completely forgotten about doing that.  She was under three feet tall at the time.

While we stood there, marvelling at the mark, a few things came to mind: boy, time sure flies, followed by, I'll have to have a word with the cleaning lady.

We made the most of our short time together.  I sent Maya up a tree or two to pick lemons and oranges, we baked a cake, she ate Moules and Crêpes Suzette and we haggled in French for souvenirs at a Vide Grenier or giant garage sale.

We had a "three country day" where after waking up and having breakfast in France, we drove through Italy and had lunch in The Principality of Seborga where niece-ling fearlessly ate wild boar and we met a little dog that was so adorable we plotted to kidnap it.

On the sunniest day, we all jumped in a helicopter, cameras in hand, and zoomed around in the sky, as one does on a sunny day, to get a new perspective on the world.

You make a diversion and I'll grab the dog

Bargain hunting for souvenirs at the Vide Grenier

Maya is an "up looker"

Time to say goodbye

Then, all of a sudden, we looked at Auntie's cat calendar and realized the party was over and it was time for them to leave.  Next stop, Paris on the high speed TGV train.

I asked Maya to write about her trip to Paris and she wrote a guest post for Auntie entitled, The Sacre Coeur Economy.

I foresee a brilliant and adventurous life for Maya and I hope she'll write more posts for The Auntie Times.

Thanks sweetheart. You can visit any time.

XO, Auntie

Wet Cement

Who can resist the lure of fresh wet cement?  Auntie sure can't!

On our way to do some shopping in downtown Menton yesterday, Uncle Jim and I were making our way through the narrow streets of the old town when about half way there, our passage was blocked by 3 burly workmen wearing dirty coveralls covered in what looked like white dust.  

One of the men was pushing a wheelbarrow, one had a hose in his hands, and the other was bent down mixing something in a big black tray.  As we got closer, we could see that they were in the middle of repaving the surface of the narrow street directly in front of us. 

We were about to turn back when one of the men said, "it's OK to pass, just be careful, there's wet cement."  Oops.  Auntie was wearing a new pair of black Italian shoes!

While we were carefully tip toeing around the wet cement, Auntie had an idea. 

I put a big smile on my face and asked, "may I step in it?"  Just so there was no misunderstanding, I lifted my foot and let it hover over a smooth patch in the corner.  

Much to Auntie's surprise, they said "yes!"

It was pure co incidence that earlier in the week, Auntie was watching an old episode of the TV show, I Love Lucy from 1955 in which Lucy decided she needed a souvenir from Hollywood to bring back to New York. Most people would have brought home a t-shirt or snow dome but not Lucy!  There she was, in the middle of the night with her friend Ethyl, at Graumann's Chinese Theatre, prying off the concrete slab with John Wayne's hands and feet imprinted on it.  

Immortalizing oneself in concrete has been going on there for a long time.  

It all started in 1927 when Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks stuck their hands and feet in wet concrete and since then, two hundred and eight actors, actresses and entertainers have been honoured and immortalized in the same way.  Michael Jackson was the latest when in January of 2012 his shoes and glitter glove were pressed into the wet cement in absentia by his children.

Well, here was Auntie's chance at fame but since I was wearing good shoes, I decided to stick my hand in the wet concrete instead.  The concrete was wet, very cold, and it was a lot of fun.  

When I got back up, we all paused to see my handiwork and shared a laugh. Uncle Jim handed me a tissue to wipe my hand and we all went on our merry way. 

This morning, curiosity drew Uncle Jim and I down the same route into town today.  We were dying to see if the workers left my hand print but alas, it seems that after we'd left, the workers had put the finishing touches on the path and smoothed over my hand print.  It was but a sweet memory.

It seems Auntie wasn't the only one attracted by the lure of wet cement that day.  Something with four paws and whiskers left it's mark instead!

Falling Ahead with the Times

The 2000's are calling and they want their phone back

The other day Auntie and Uncle Jim were on a double date with friends Geoff and Christine and Auntie became the laughing stock of the dinner table. 

While we were waiting for our salads to arrive, the subject turned towards cell phones and everyone pulled out his phone to compare Apps and show off some photos.

I miss my Walkman so...

Well, there was Auntie with her ancient little Samsung phone, the one that she'd bought about 10 years ago with the little silver bear charm hanging on the end, right next to the antenna.

"That's your phone?" Geoff asked accusingly mixed with peals of laughter.

Well, I never!  You'd think I'd been carrying around two tin cans and a string in my purse.  Well, I guess compared to their shiny new iPhones, I was.

Ah well, Auntie took all the laughter in the spirit that it was intended:  ridicule.

Good old

How had I fallen so far behind the times?

The funny thing is that in all other ways, Auntie is quite the modern miss.  I have three blogs, a facebook page and two twitter feeds. I even saw PSY's Gangnam Style video on YouTube when it had under 100,000 views. Now it's nearing 1.3 billion.  Where did I go wrong?

Bad old

With laughter still ringing in my ears, Uncle Jim kindly offered to buy me an iPhone 5 and Auntie readily agreed.  This zip-lined Auntie into the modern age and now I can't put my phone down.

The truth is that these days it's hard to keep up with all the new ways of doing things.

Do you remember record players?  Auntie does.

After listening to one side of the record, which took about 15 minutes or so, you had to get up and flip the record over to play the other side.  Television offered the same chance for vigorous exercise. If you wanted to change channels, you had to push the cat off your lap, get up out of your easy chair, walk across the room and flip a knob.

While watching TV and listening to records were both good ways to get exercise, now we sit like statues and manage our video content and MP3 files in our Clouds so there's no need to flip anything except your lid when your WiFi goes on the fritz or your download speeds are too pokey.

Back in the good old days when iPods had click wheels

I often think about all the things in life that are both old and good:  fine wine, architecture, grandparents, and unwatched episodes of your favourite old-time TV shows.

And how about everything that's both new and good in life like kittens,

"A ground breaking advancement in the field of obsolescence"

apples, friends, and new episodes of your favourite modern TV shows?

Sometimes, it's fun to find a happy mix of both like this nifty USB typewriter that Uncle Jim found on the internet.  If you have an old Underwood typewriter lying around, you can convert it into a keyboard for your iPad.  Imagine being able to hear the "clickity clak" of the typewriter keys and all those "likes" you'll generate when you update your facebook status to  "just got a new typewriter!"  Just make sure your don't slap your iPad off its stand when you should hit the "enter" key instead.

Uncle Jim is in many ways a thoroughly modern man and owns an iPad but strangely, he's never owned an iPhone.  After a bit of delicate questioning, I learned he has a little disability that plagues many people of his generation:  his fingertips aren't pointy enough to use the keypad.  Poor Uncle Jim!

All is not lost though. You'll be pleased to know that while we were in Hong Kong, we bought some nifty finger cones that are all the rage there.  Wearing these cones on your fingers over night will reshape your round fingertips in no time and they're guaranteed to make them pointy enough for an iPhone keyboard.  Fortunately, the cost of the cones is covered by his health insurance. 

Good old. The house phone from the Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh

Of course this doesn't mean that we can't hold on to things from the past that bring us happiness and joy like old friends, antique tea cups and vintage Pucci dresses.

We should just be open to new things and new adventures that will enrich and improve our lives.

As one of my favourite animated characters, Edna Mode would say, "I never look back, darling! It distracts from the now."

I couldn't say it better myself! 

Stop fighting girls!  There are plenty of those to go around

Yes, "Like That."  All is well in the modern age - for now...

A Curious Year

Is it 2014 yet?

Well the end of the year sure did creep up on Auntie.  Did it creep up on you?

Seems like one minute 2012 was rolling merrily along and the next, I was pulling streamers from the chandeliers, tossing champagne bottles into the recycle bin and tacking up my new 2013 "page a day" cat calendar.

Well, I know it's customary at this time of year to take a look back and reminisce about past posts but Auntie has a little secret to tell you... I saw a lot of strange things last year that I've been too busy to tell you about.

So in the spirit of the original Auntie Times, I've put together a few little stories to amuse you and brighten your day.

By the way, my new year's resolution for 2013 is to share more little stories with you throughout the year.  I'm sure this will last longer than my new year's diet.

Uncle Jim and I wish you a healthy and prosperous 2013 and that it looks something like this:

So put on your spectacles and let's take a look at the curious year that was 2012.

Strange Pod Takes Over the Dining Room 

When Auntie and Uncle Jim were out walking in the mountains one day, we spotted a pretty vine that had twisted its way through an old rusty fence. 

There were some interesting fat green pods hanging all over that vine so we snapped one off, tucked it in my knapsack and headed home thinking that I'd look it up on the internet to see what it was and if I could cook with it.  Food foraging is a favourite little pastime for Auntie.

Well, things didn't go quite as I'd planned.

Auntie got busy with other things that day and I forgot all about that little pod until a few days later.  By then, the pod had split to reveal pretty rows of brown seeds.  It reminded me of a milkweed pod but this was much bigger.

After Uncle Jim marvelled at it and Auntie took a few pictures, I left it on a tray in the dining room and I got busy and forgot all about it again.

Two days later, Celine came running into my office.  She said I should come quickly - there was something strange in the dining room.  

Well what a surprise!  Those brown seeds had started to creep out of the pod all on their own and each of them had a big fluffy parachute attached. 

At the rate it was puffing, we calculated that the dining room would be full of fluff by the end of the week. 

There was only one thing we could do.  Celine pulled out the vacuum and she sucked away all those seeds and fluff.  Phew.  That was close!

Come to think of it, I'd better ask Celine to go check the vacuum bag.  There's no telling what they've gotten up to in the dark.

That's the last time Auntie brings one of those home!

Meet "Happy" the Nut Cracking Dog

Do you remember Gilbert, the man who sells eggs in the market in Monaco?  Well Gilbert has a new puppy named "Happy" and he's one talented dog!

Every fall, Gilbert brings walnuts to the market to sell and it seems that his new puppy Happy likes the walnuts just as much as Auntie does.

If you give Happy a walnut, he takes it in his mouth, cracks it with his powerful jaws, spits it all out, picks out the nut to eat and leaves the shell behind.  

Hmm.  Maybe Happy can help Auntie crack all those nuts I bought from Gilbert. 

Cat Tails

Well, someone made a mistake at the cat factory when this little fella rolled down the assembly line.  

On Dasher, on Cancer...

If you drive, or walk, from France into Italy these days, the first building you'll find across the border besides the dilapidated 70's style check point building is a little gas station, café and Italian food shop all rolled into one.

Everyone who works there is always cranky and brusque with customers and lately they've been wearing brand new t-shirts with "Go Away" printed in big letters across the front.  Maybe they were a Christmas present from the owner.

But despite the bad service and crabby staff, there are always long line ups at the cigarette counter with hoards of French people buying cheap Italian ciggies for a fraction of what they cost in France.

Well, for the festive season, they put a Christmas tree out front and decorated it with empty soda cans and cigarette packages.

Well, it certainly captured the spirit of the place!

A Well Dressed Cat

 

If you're looking for a date Miss Kitty, Auntie knows a cat with a white coat and a nice tail....



The Happy Dancing Fund Raising Guy

On a recent trip to London, this fine fellow was in front of the big Selfridges department store asking passers by to give money to his charity.

He donned a colourful wig and did a little happy dance hoping for big donations.  Well, it worked.  Auntie emptied her wallet into his red bucket.

A Menacing Bunny

Auntie Loses her Head

Sit!  Beg!

Brother can you spare a bone?


Who Killed Auntie's Donkey?

The investigation continues in an effort to apprehend the culprit who killed Auntie's vintage yellow donkey this summer.

Prime suspects are Uncle Jim and a few of the neighbourhood cats.

A reward has been offered.